I've joined up with Sable Hunter in her Halloween Blog Hop. Christina Ratliff from Nice Ladies, Naughty Books has snailed me a boatload of Halloween-themed swag including horror movies, coffee cups, and scary tales that I'll give away along with a copy of my latest chart-busting MMF ménage, Three For All.
Here is a pic of some of the loot--"Young Frankenstein," "Dracula," socks, candy corn, margarita flavorings...the bottomless box just goes on and on.
Leave a comment below for a chance to win this haul!
Here in Chapter One of Three For All, innocent widow Hannah O'Loughlin attends a Halloween party naively dressed as a genie.
"This isn't your average Delight Hardware crowd."
Boy, did Lacey make an understatement. Of course, Hannah O’Loughlin had expected a colorful bunch of people at the Hardscrabble Ranch party. It was Halloween. But the extravagance presented here went beyond a few devil, Frankenstein, or Charlie Sheen masks.
A few men even were clad in My Little Pony costumes, complete with
plumed tails swishing from their rumps. Muscular gladiators wearing leopard
skin capes clanked by in chains. A life-sized Barbie had the dolls glued to
every conceivable part of her body. A six-headed hydra spewed sequins from
three of its mouths. One fellow was half man, half woman, depending from where
you viewed him. The crew-cut, leather-clad lesbian bikers seemed almost homespun
next to the razzle-dazzle that paraded in this barn.
“I feel so simple in my costume,” Hannah
told Lacey. “And when I picked it out at the store it felt so daring.” We’re not in Montana anymore.
Lacey clutched Hannah’s arm. She seemed
to genuinely fear for Hannah’s comfort level now. “Oh, I hope you don’t feel
out of place. Believe me, these folks are just cutting loose. They’re normally
just everyday people. See that gal dressed like the Statue of Liberty? She’s
really Miss Teen Buckeye County. And that guy wearing nothing but a giant
book—see, he’s got binoculars for eyes?—well, he’s just the Hell’s Delight
bookstore owner.”
Since Lacey was married to one of the
owners of Hardscrabble Ranch, many people were trying to gain her attention. It
was nice of Lacey to go out of her way to brush her other friends off and stand
with the newcomer Hannah in the straw by the beer keg. Lacey didn’t really owe
Hannah anything. They’d only met two months ago, when Lacey had walked up to
the counter at Delight Hardware where Hannah worked to buy some nylon rope and
duct tape. They had bonded over the fact that Hannah had taken Lacey’s old job
at the store. Lacey had invited Hannah for a drink at the Bit o’Honey bar and
they’d been solid friends since. Lacey was a godsend for Hannah, who knew
almost nobody in town. She had just moved to the area after penning a deal to
buy a ranch, but the deal had fallen through, so Hannah was stuck selling
people nails, washers, and clothesline rope. She knew a bit about many hardware
items from having owned a ranch in Montana, so it was a natural fit.
“Didn’t you tell me that bookstore owner
was a flasher?” Hannah asked. The people of this Sierra foothill town certainly
were festive and colorful. The most picturesque anyone in her Montana town got
was the feed store clerk with a lacey bra cup peeking out from under his shirt.
But Hannah didn’t want to make Lacey feel uncomfortable, either. “Oh, look at
that pretty hat made of butterflies.” Hannah inadvertently gasped when she
realized the Carmen Miranda hat wearer was a man in a flouncy blouse with
clown-like, garish makeup. Get over it,
Hannah. It’s Halloween. You’re never going to fit in with these people unless
you start relaxing a bit. It’s California, not Montana. Of course people are
going to be a bit more unconventional. That guy probably doesn’t normally wear
hoop earrings. But Hannah started to wonder what some of these citizens
were really doing with the O rings and lashing straps that they purchased in
her store.
Lacey shook Hannah’s arm. “Seriously, my
dear. If you want to go back to your apartment I’ll understand. In fact, I’ll
go with you. We can hang out, have a couple glasses of wine. Catch up on that Longmire marathon.”
“Of course
not, Lacey! It’s your husband’s party, after all. You can’t leave, and neither
will I.” Lacey’s husband Devin was currently on a makeshift stage playing
guitar with his country and western band. Hardscrabble Ranch was the largest
outfit in the area, and Hannah hadn’t hoped to compete with them, but if she
still hoped to be a rancher again someday she would have to deal with Devin at
various events in both a social and business setting. It behooved everyone if
she stuck it out here, even if she did feel like a complete and utter skank in
the harem costume. She had felt like a gorgeous, exotic genie putting on the
sheer, ballooning harem pants. Now she just felt like a dork. A naked, fat dork
with her midriff exposed. She really wouldn’t mind going home and seeing her
dog, Blackbeard. “Look, here’s Cal.”
Cal Zhukov was Lacey’s stepbrother. Tall
and gangly, he normally wore nothing fancier than a Black Sabbath or Megadeth
T-shirt when they worked together at his father’s hardware store. Cal liked to
let his freak flag fly, though, and tonight was no exception. He was dressed,
appropriately enough, as some heavy metal hair band member, complete with black
and white face paint and a Phil Spector fright wig. “Dudettes!” he exclaimed in
his usual jovial manner. He was out of breath from running in tall patent
leather platform boots. “This party is off the hook, Lace! Did you see John
Sansing with an actual peacock on his head?”
Hannah frowned. “I thought that was a
peacock headdress.”
Cal elbowed Hannah. “Nope, an actual
live peacock. That’s almost as good as Jenny Gardner coming as Casey Anthony. Did
you see her? Her mask is custom-made, and she’s smoking a cigar, has a bottle
of chloroform, and carries her own pole to dance with.”